She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
