he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
