and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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