whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
