That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you didnt know i had herpes?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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