There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
