I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
