Yo dont text me then not text me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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