I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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