Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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