OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
