I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
