Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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