I got chris browned last night
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize