Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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