Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
