I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
God I need to hump something, right now.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize