she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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