You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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