oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
