the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it was like eating out sand paper
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
