im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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