okay pat passed out under dana's car
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
