Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
