I'm really into asian looking animals
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
