I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
