If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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