definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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