margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Plan B is the new Plan A
You can't special order awesome
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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