Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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