She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
