He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
