It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
