Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
