Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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