i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
