apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
