life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
A+ Viking dick
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
