No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
