I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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