ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
