So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
