Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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