i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
