I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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