Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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