I want you more than these girls want KFC
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
