He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
