I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
