Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
this will be a night to untag.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
