Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
