If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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