Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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