OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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