i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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