Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Define "chronic" masturbator.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
