At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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