there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My vagina just recognized that song.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
