Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
mondays should just be called national damage control day
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
