Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
