I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
