There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
