Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
