# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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