If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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