Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she told me i tasted like america
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
