Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize