The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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