We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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