My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
