you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
