so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he puts the penis in happiness.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
