To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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